One of the first “therapeutic skills” I was taught as a Social Worker was called “normalization.” Basically, this so-called “skill” involved saying to someone who’s just told you about some of the difficult emotions and reactions that they struggle with, “It’s really normal to feel/ respond that way” (or some variation on that theme). Boy did me and my classmates have a hoot, “normalizing” everything each other said over the next few weeks… and coming up with statements that definitely aren’t normal, just because we knew someone would “normalize” us (“Gee, ever since I wrote that psych stats exam, I’ve had a strange desire to shag our lecturer…”).
Anyway, as corny as it sounds, normalization is actually really powerful. One of the things that can get us stuck is when we’re going through the “normal” difficult emotions and “stuff” that gets brought up while we’re making changes, and then we tell ourselves we’re crazy/ bad/ lazy/ hopeless, or whatever, because we’re having those difficult reactions and because we have all that difficult “stuff” going on inside. And finding out that lots of other people struggle with that same stuff and that you’re not actually crazy/ bad/ lazy/ hopeless (or whatever other stick you beat yourself with) can be quite a relief and remove a whole layer of stuckness.
So I thought I’d give you all the opportunity to “normalize” each other and help each other get unstuck by telling each other what fears and stuff you struggle with.
Tell us about you, so we can all know we’re not crazy!
If I’ve done this poll widget-thingy right, then you should be able to view the results here on the blog, as they come in. If I haven’t then it’s another opportunity for me to work on my fears of messing up! (and then I promise to write another post, with the results, so we can all feel relieved that we’re normal)
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I love this, Cath! Any time I launch off in a new and frightening direction, I tell myself “Of course it’s frightening! I have no evidence that there isn’t a lion around the corner!” Usually, this normalizes my fear into a rational curiosity and excited state. I love seeing this shift in clients too.
Can’t wait to see the results of the poll!
Jennifer Voss, Lite Thinker’s last blog post..When Your Essential Self Speaks…
Hi Jennifer,
Thanks for stopping by
Curiosity is one of the most transformational states I’ve found. And anything you can do to get out of fear and stress and into curiosity is going to be POWERFUL!
By the way, my poll widget appears to be working like a dream. You can click on the “view results” button on the bottom left of the poll and see what others have been saying about their fears. Yay!
Cath
CathD’s last blog post..Ask The Tribe: Am I Normal?
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