Do you know that we’re the only species that shows positive emotions by bearing our teeth?

Well, as far as we know, at least… I suspect this is not an easy thing to research. I’m picturing the Gary Larson social anthropologists and biologists getting themselves into dangerous situations with a lot of very weird creatures, all in the name of finding out whether they’re expressing happiness, warmth and kindness when they’re bearing their teeth!

Anyway, I don’t really agree with this claim

And neither does researcher, Paul Ekman. Because it turns out that we have two very different kinds of smiles. There’s the smile we do when we’re being polite – when we know we should smile, or when we’re covering up something else we don’t want to feel, like anger or anxiety. You can spot that kind of smile, because only the mouth is smiling, and the rest of the face looks like you’ve just had botox. Let’s call it the Social Smile.

Then there’s the real smile, when we’re genuinely happy, thrilled, excited, amused, and opening our hearts. And it feels like it happens to you – it’s totally automatic and unconscious. This one is also pretty easy to spot, because we smile with our whole face, especially our eyes. Let’s call it the Authentic Smile.

Because we do our authentic smiles automatically, we often don’t pay any conscious attention to them. But they have masses of wisdom in them – especially if you’re wanting to figure out who you are, what’s important to you, and what will make you most happy. Because it’s unconscious, your authentic smile never lies. You can mine this wisdom with a simple question:

What makes me smile spontaneously and authentically?

Give it a go. Here’s a few things off my list:

• snow
• singing badly on purpose with Andy (usually during long road trips)
• when babies laugh (that one’s probably universal!)
• colored mosaics/ paints/ clay/ gel pens – anything I can make art with
• sea creatures
• monkeys (have you been to Monkey World?!!)
• just about anything Martha Beck writes
• when someone says or does something that terrifies them and grows them at the same time
• fresh, clean linen and getting into bed early
• running on the beach with the fresh, salty sea air
• my 13yr old little sister’s totally gung-ho, intense approach to everything in her life right now (remember 13?!)
• those “a-ha!” moments, when I see something differently (even better when it’s a shared “a-ha” with a client or friend! It’s impossible not to laugh when you see someone else have an “a-ha” moment.)

What makes you smile spontaneously and authentically? And what does that say about who you are, what’s important to you and what will make you most happy in life?

Photo by Ekler

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