One of the most common reasons why people spring for Resource Mining Conversations with me is because they’re unhappy in their work, and they want to figure out what work they’d like to do instead. And one of the main ways that I see people getting stuck with these sorts of decisions, is that they focus on trying to find a box that already exists, and trying to figure out if they could fit into that box… rather than figuring out who they want to be and what experiences they want to have, and either looking for a box that would offer the opportunity for that, creating their own box around who they want to be and what they want to experience, or even finding ways they can do and be what they want to do and be in their current “box.”

And here’s a fascinating thing: for a lot of the people, once they figure out what parts of themselves have been un-expressed that they’d like to express more of, and what experiences they’d like to have more of, a lot of them realize they don’t have to change their job or business, because they can be and do all they want to be and do in their current role. The difference is that they’re no longer assuming that circumstances create their experience of life and work, and they’ve started assuming that they can be the person they want to be regardless of what job they’re in. And then, a lot of the time (although not all the time), when they’re being the person they want to be, they start becoming much more influential and being able to elicit the opportunities they want, for being who they want to be and doing what they want to do, in their current work situation. It’s not like that for everyone though. For some people, when they start being who they want to be, they realize that their current work situation isn’t going to adapt to let them do what they want to do, and then they know with total clarity that it’s time to move on.

So, when I’m working with people around decisions about changing their work, we always start with changing the part that they have complete control over: who they’re being. Because it’s only when you’re being who you want to be that you become clear as to the stuff you need to change in your circumstances.

So, as you lead your life, who do you want to be?

Make a list. What descriptive words would you like people to use when they’re talking about you? How would you like to be feeling in each role you play in your life?

Here are some of my words for who I’d like to be being, in all roles of my life:

• curious
• honest
• alive
• grounded
• centred
• warm
• open-minded
• open-hearted
• generous
• expressive
• flexible
• fun and funny
• conscious
• committed
• adventurous
• resourceful
• agile (of course!)

What are your words for who you want to be being? And how can you already start being that right now?

Learn more about who you REALLY want to be

The book I’ve Bottom-lined for August is Martha Beck’s “Finding Your Own North Star” and it’s the best resource I’ve come across for finding who you’re REALLY wanting to be. I’ve mined some great tools for you from this book, to help you get clear on who you want to be and to clear out the stuff that’s holding you back from being that person. I’ll be releasing the Bottom-line on Martha Beck’s book, “Finding Your Own North Star” on 1 Aug. If you sign up now, you’ll effectively get two Bottom-line’s this month: the Bottom-line on Pam Slim’s “Escape From Cubicle Nation” and Martha Beck’s “Finding Your Own North Star! Click here to get the Bottom-lines on Pam Slim’s “Escape From Cubicle Nation” and Martha Beck’s “Finding Your Own North Star.”

Photo by lutman123

If you enjoyed this post, you might like to subscribe to this blog’s RSS feed or hang out with me on Twitter. All commenters on this blog are entered into a monthly draw to stand a chance to win a 60min Resource Mining Session. The draw takes place at the end of each month.

Tweet This Post