We had such a great bunch of people on the building team at Zithulele and one of the things I most enjoyed about the project was the chats we had about life, the universe and everything. And since I’ve followed Jamie’s work for 5 or 6 years now, I really enjoyed picking his brain on some of the stuff about goal-setting and other personal development questions that I’ve had on my mind lately. So we decided to record some of that conversation for you while we were in Zithulele, so you could get in on it too. Here goes…
Some of the big take-aways I got from this chat:
- When you’re setting goals, it’s worth asking, “For what purpose am I setting goals?”
- Goal-setting doesn’t have to be a whole big, procedural thing. You can see it as simply the act of choosing your preferences.
- You don’t have to focus on or think about your goals everyday, as many personal development gurus say you do - that’s lame!
- A big trap to look out for is the “There is better than here… once I’ve achieved my goals, I’ll be happy…” kind of thinking. Don’t believe the lie that you have to get somewhere before you can feel the way you want to feel.
- We’ve been taught to think that good feelings come from the outside, but they come from the inside.
- The purpose of a goal is to help you fall more in love with life. Choose goals that improve the quality of your life right now.
- Often we set goals that aren’t what we really want, because we think we have to do something first, before we can have what we really want. Don’t worry about whether your goal is realistic. What you want is what you want, whether its realistic or not.
- It’s often a lot easier to get what you really, really want than it is to get what you think you can get, but most people are going for what they think they can get.
- Any time/ energy/ money you spend on growing to love yourself is well-spent. It’s one of the most powerful gifts you can give yourself and it’s what we all really want anyway.
- Don’t set goals from the perspective of, “If I achieve that, then I’ll feel good about myself…”
- If being hard on yourself was going to work to get you where you want to be, it would have worked by now. Realize that achieving goals won’t make you feel good about yourself.
- Decide to fall in love with your life and yourself no matter what - even if those things never change in your life. There’s so much about you and your life that you can fall in love with now, without anything ever changing.
- A lot of people think that if they love themselves as they are, they won’t be motivated to change anything. That’s not true at all.
- Realize that you can change the targets you set because you made them up. Don’t let yourself be tyrannized by goals you made up, because the purpose of goals is to improve the quality of your life right now.
I’d love to know… what did you find useful in what Jamie shared? What are your thoughts on this stuff?
Great video, I agree with most of it, but for me thinking everyday about my goals isn’t lame, but it gives me the motivation to do my task and keep track of the big picture
Oscar - freestyle mind´s last blog ..A Tremendous Money Saver – Wait 48 Hours Before Buying Anything 
[...] Tuesday, 19 January, 2010′;tweetcount_cnt=0;tweetcount_src=’RT @taskwriter’;tweetcount_via=false;1. Chatting With Jamie Smart About Goal-Setting and yes, I think that the title is enough.:) We had such a great bunch of people on the building [...]
Great, great video. Really.
The topic of goal setting to make you happy later is definitely something that I see people do often. I do it myself and so does my spouse. I think it really does make a difference to talk about goal setting as a ‘what makes you smile today.’ Many of my goals do just that but I often find myself getting impatient waiting for the end result when in reality the End Result is now. That’s something I will have to think about more as I continue to set goals for my life and re-evaluate my current goals to make them something to fulfill my life now.
Richard Ring´s last blog ..Bit of a Bio: Why I chose to be a Bodybuilder
Hey Oscar, thanks for stopping by! I think Jamie’s main point was that putting most of your attention on thinking about your goals and doing daily visualization like some goal-setting gurus suggest can detract you from actually living life, and it can cause you to have tunnel vision when it comes to the strategies you use to get your goals, because you’re so busy focusing tightly on specific goals that you don’t notice other opportunities as they come along. Missing out of living and discovering because you’re so busy focusing and planning is the lame bit - know what I mean? If thinking about your goals daily helps you do the actual living your goals bit, then good on you!
Richard, I like your “what makes me smile today” criteria for goal-setting. And constantly adapting and re-evaluating and adjusting your goals is for me what agile living is about - having a living, evolving set of goals and intentions, rather than rigidly sticking to your initial paper plan. Thanks for stopping by and addin your thoughts!
CathD´s last blog ..Chatting With Jamie Smart About Goal-Setting
Social comments and analytics for this post…
This post was mentioned on Twitter by JamieSalad: If a goal doesn’t improve your life today, it’s toxic! Goal-setting gets turned on its head in this interview http://tinyurl.com/y8tthpy...
Love this type of conversations.
I think having goals is about experiencing life and learning. If decide to achieve something like build a website or tour a foreign country there are some actions necessary. To get there you need to go through many steps like learning how to code a website, buy a domain, save money, read about thinks to see in that country etc.
In the end you might never build that website or visit that country but as you say goals evolve some are dropped in the middle but the knowledge that was gained stays.
All this adds up to overall experience of life and it’s quality.
Goals are also about getting out of the comfort zone. To attain them you need to do something different than usual even if it’s a simple thing like going to a gym or writing an email to long forgotten friend.
Really enjoyed the video.
Hey Rafal,
So glad you enjoyed the video. I like your approach that whether or not your achieve the end result of your goals is not the biggest deal. What you experience, learn and enjoy while you’re going after those goals is more important - great way to stay balance present and future. Thanks for stopping by and I look forward to getting to know you better.
CathD´s last blog ..Riffing About Agile Living With Jamie Smart
i strongly agree with this point :
“The purpose of a goal is to help you fall more in love with life. Choose goals that improve the quality of your life right now.”
i think lots of people set goals that make them miserable, focusing on improving the quality of life will certainly make the person happier
thanks for the video
This reminds me of this quote: “Fortunately analysis is not the only way to resolve inner conflicts. Life itself still remains a very effective therapist.” Karen Horney