“If a stretch was any faster, it would be exercise.
If a yawn were any faster, it would be a hiccup.
If a smile were any faster, it would be a twitch.”

I don’t remember where I found this quote (Do let me know in the comments below if you know it’s reference), but I found this “artwork” while I was sorting through my stuff in Cape Town, in preparation for our move to Canada. It’s a visual representation of changes I wanted to make and “ways of being” or attitudes that I wanted to affirm within myself, and I created it in 2002. Seeing it nearly 8 years later, I was hit with a rush of emotion and immediately remembered the strong feelings I had when I created this piece of artwork. And along with the strong emotion, I had a rush of memories of the insight I’d accrued back in 2002, that lead me to create this visual representation.

I’ve always been a very driven person and I’ve always loved creating, “working” and managing projects. As a result, I often take too much on and get lost down a rabbit hole of work, and I’m often quite impatient to see my ideas be made real in the world, which makes me all the more focused and “productive” (read: blinkered!).

I created this visual affirmation at a time in my life where I was re-evaluating my priorities and I was learning some hard lessons about the negative consequences of my impatience and total focus on my work projects. I was realizing how I was creating stress and frustration for myself. I was recognizing how my hyper-focus on my work had blinded my awareness of some of the beautiful, yet slow experiences in life, and I wanted to affirm a more patient perspective, where I could enjoy the journey, and recognize the value of time and the fact that some things lose their value when they’re rushed or forced in any way. I was recognizing in myself that some of my driven-ness was coming from a need to try to control my future and a fear of the uncertainty of the future, and I wanted to develop a greater trust in myself and in the idea that things would turn out okay even if I didn’t “manage” or push them or work hard at making them happen. I was realizing the value of just being and reflecting and feeling, rather then being busy doing all the time, and I was hungry for mental and emotional headspace – the kind of headspace I’ve always felt on roadtrips through Namibia, where the horizon seems endless.

And just looking at this picture, I feel like I’ve downloaded all this insight afresh into my consciousness again, at a time when I’ve found myself down that rabbit-hole of fascinating work that grabs all of my attention and pulls me into obsessiveness (and the lack of perspective that often arises when I stay too long in that obsession). It astounds me how powerful artwork can be, as a way of storing, recording and conveying insights, feelings and experiences over long stretches of time.

And the biggest lesson of all – the thing that made me laugh out loud?

There I was, worrying about whether things would be okay, back in 2002… and here I am now, knowing that things were okay. They were even better than okay.

And what’s more, I can trust that the universe will give me opportunities to gain the insight I need, just when I need it. Like the way this picture showed up in my life, 8 years later, just at a time in my life when I most needed to remember these lessons again.

Art-making instead of goal-setting

Does the idea of making pictures or sculptures sound more appealing than setting goals? It certainly does to me. And you know, I remember how the actual process of making this picture made me feel calmer and safer and clearer.

Since finding it the other day, I’ve set it as the screensaver on my computer, and it continues to take me to that same place of calmness, safety and clarity now, and to remind me to slow down and experience and appreciate life right now, and to enjoy the process of making my dreams a reality, rather than putting my happiness on hold until I see my dreams realized.

So give it a try. Think about something you’re struggling with right now, and feeling bad about. And then think about how you want to feel, and represent that visually through collage, drawing, paint, sculpture or whatever. Then ask yourself what you’d need to be believing about that situation, in order to feel the way you want to feel about it, and represent that too.

Enjoy the process, go with your gut, let yourself be surprised by the pictures you find yourself drawn to use, or the words or song lyrics that come to mind, and put it all down on paper. Most of all, enjoy feeling the way you want to feel when you’ve made your changes, right now… and let that drive your change, rather than fear or self-judgment.

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