“If I didn’t care what people thought, I’d quit my job and open up a shoe shop” said Cindy, with a brief sparkle in her eyes that I hadn’t seen before. As an intelligent and hard-working young woman, Cindy swiftly made her way up the corporate ladder. She comes from a long line of successful and wealthy doctors, lawyers and businessmen, and her family are very proud of her recent promotion to join her company’s Board of Directors at the young age of 34. But she’s never been particularly passionate about her work, and since her recent promotion, she’s really struggling to motivate herself at work, suffering from daily migraines, and finding herself fantasizing about quitting, and starting her own business.

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Michael is young, intelligent, attractive, and highly successful in his work as a financial advisor. He has the ever-expanding property portfolio, the beautiful home on a golf estate, the expensive German car, the yacht, and the gorgeous wife and 2.5 perfect little kids. Sounds fantastic, doesn’t it? “So what do you want to use coaching for?” I asked. Michael explained that what he’d really like to focus on was the creation of a 5yr financial plan that would enable him to be financially secure enough to quit his stressful job, start spending more time with his wife and kids, improve his golf, maybe even write a book.” “And what will that do for you?” I asked. “I won’t be stressed out anymore. I’ll be content. I’ll be happy when I’m financially secure enough to be able to start doing those things I’d love to do.”

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You know, some days I just really feel like giving up. In fact (just between you and me), most days I feel like that, sometimes for just a moment, sometimes for much of the day. You know those times when the obstacles just seem so big and complex, and impossible to overcome. And you start to wonder why you chose to do something so difficult anyway. And it’s warm, safe and simple under your duvet and cold, unpredictable and nasty outside…

Yes, I know I’m not supposed to say that. Life coaches are supposed to have endless energy, enthusiasm, and optimism, and have permanently purged their vocabulary of words like, “can’t” and “quit.” Yeah right.

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If you’re anything like me, you’re probably very familiar with what I call “goal-setter’s remorse.” Just like with buyer’s remorse after a big purchase, doubt often sets in after the initial excitement when you set a big goal. Sure, you’ve thought it through rationally, you know it’s going to be a challenge but you’re setting out with positive expectancy and enthusiasm. I mean, “how hard can it really be?”

So you buy the shiny motorbike, sign up for riding lessons, and splurge on a sassy bike jacket. You arrive for your bike lessons, looking like a seasoned biker, and you can even talk some of the lingo. You’re thinking, “I’m a natural – this is going to be a breeze.” And then you get on a bike…

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Do you remember that time when, as a young child, you came across an abandoned baby animal, and brought it home, asking your parents, “Can I keep it?” It might have been a little baby mouse or a tiny stray kitten, or maybe it was a baby bird with a slightly broken wing. Whatever the little creature was, it was small and vulnerable and you decided immediately that you’d rescue it and devote yourself to feeding and nurturing it to full strength and maturity. Mine was a little baby bird that was teetering around in our back garden one afternoon. We looked everywhere for the mother bird, or at least a nest, but we found no sign of it’s maternal protector.

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I remember one of my favourite holidays with my family as a child. We drove up to to the Etosha National Park in Namibia for a week or so of game viewing. Now safaris aren’t everyone’s cup of tea, but as an 11 year old, I’d only ever seen wild animals in cages at the zoo, so the challenge of spotting animals in the bushes and identifying them in our field book was very appealing. I’ll never forget the first animal we saw – we went crazy with excitement. As we drove into the park gates, there, just on the side of the road was a Springbok, standing gracefully and staring at us. We all jumped up, pointing, yelling, fighting for the window seats, and taking loads of photos. Us kids were proud because we all knew it was a Springbok. And I thought, “this is the best holiday ever!”

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